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Chapter 13 - What the Fiduc?!

Quick Summary
With the Duke out of the way and the Dark Knights having issues with Bacrum, Denim is free to strike at Fiduc Castle and kill the Bishop. But before that, he takes a detour to Fort Bodo where Oz and Ozma are. He defeats Oz handily and recruits Selye into his ranks. Then he moves to Fiduc where he finds Kachua being a blood-thirsty princess. She runs away with Lans. Then he humiliates two over-confident Dark Knights, Oz and Ozma, in one go. Somewhere else, Vice is being executed for...stuff. This concludes Chapter 3.

The Army
We're starting to solidify into our final fighting form. Lots of people have unique spells or equipment now and doing well overall. No complaints, but we do have a road ahead of us. Boss-type characters are a common occurrence now and we also have to deal with some tricky ranged enemies.

Unit Spotlight - Dragon Tamer
In all of my playthroughs of this game, I never thought I'd use a Dragon Tamer, but when you let people make the decisions for you it gets interesting. I have no regrets. Dragon Tamers are the female response to Beast Tamers, they act as support units for Dragons, giving nearby ones increased attack power. This is useful for us, because Brian and Jay both count as dragons. They are Dragon Squad. Otherwise, they have awful attribute growth, favoring a spread of poor choices except for DEX growth. Their resistances aren't that great and since they're female, not great for melee combat. Of course their preferred weapon is the sword. Their stat requirements are strange as they require MEN, STR, and HP of all things, so any unit that gets to that point is going to be built strangely. On top of that, they get a spell slot, so they can equip the usual single target fare. I guess the sword thing makes sense, since they're supposed to stand next to dragons. Our resident Dragon Tamer is, !!!!~*my girlfriend*~!!!!, Ashley. She lacks the required L or N alignment to be a valkyrie, so she was built primarily as an archer and actually does well with her bow.

Josh - Dragoon - Earth
HP 252 MP 28 STR 170 VIT 151 INT 119 MEN 146 AGI 143 DEX 182 LUK 53
Equip: Fafniel, Dragon Helm, Dragon Shield, Dragon Armor
Spells: Incubus
Kills: 15
Achievements: Early Riser, One Hit Wonder, Full Set

I took a trip and got you the last piece of Dragon gear for you. You now wield the complete Dragon set consisting of: Dragon Helmet, Dragon Armor, and Dragon Shield. They do nothing special, even as a set, but they look rad in the equipment menu. Unfortunately that also means you can't take an item into battle, but it's okay, because you're fairly tanky. You're also SLOW AS FUCK so  you end up getting to the fight after everyone has taken a swing or two. Your performance in the Fiduc Gate battle was acceptable, you were responsible for some deaths.

HP 196 MP 134 STR 127 VIT 110 INT 205 MEN 177 AGI 125 DEX 140 LUK 50
Equip: Balder Staff, Balder Staff, Mind Ring
Spells: Meteor, Acid, Gnome
Kills: 18
Achievements: Bitchin, Gnome Sayin

You got a new spell: Gnome. It's a summon that deals 8-10 hits and usually kills a single target. You almost one-shot the bosses in Fiduc with it. I'm also finding it strange that for some situations you have a large chance to evade attacks and not for others. Oh well, now you can blast large amounts of foes or assassinate single targets, Gnome Sayin'? You got a lot of kills this chapter.

Brian - Lizard Man - Water
HP 275 MP 4 STR 184 VIT 162 INT 100 MEN 162 AGI 167 DEX 134 LUK 48
Equip: Aqua, Balder Shield, Balder Chest
Kills: 25
Achievements: Murder Hobo, Stone of Shame

You also killed an enemy Leader with a throw stone, you also get Stone of Shame. I need to take advantage of elemental bonuses more often, because you do megadamage to anyone whose elemental guardian is Fire. Of course that goes the other way around for you. I think all of the big fire threats are gone now, but I'm not going to say that for sure. Even without elemental bonuses you still clobber people,

Gage - Knight - Fire
HP 243 MP 53 STR 170 VIT 139 INT 130 MEN 139 AGI 139 DEX 161 LUK 50
Equip: Fire Sword, Balder Shield, Phoenix Armor
Kills: 18
Achievements: Close Call, Damsel In Distress, Stone of Shame, Face Blocker

God damn it, stop using your face to block things; it does not work! Otherwise, your damage output is really nice, I think due to your stacking elemental bonuses from that Fire sword and your high STR and DEX.. I'm giving you the Phoenix Armor next chapter, because you definitely need extra protection. In Fiduc Gate you performed your first Critical Attack in the most useless way possible: on a petrified enemy you were going to kill anyway. Way to go.

Jon - Berserker - Water
HP 267 MP 61 STR 157 VIT 145 INT 124 MEN 162 AGI 148 DEX 167 LUK 52
Equip: Phlanka Axe, Power Gauntlet, Aqua Armor
Kills: 14
Achievements: Boss Blocks

I hope you like your new Aqua Armor, it's blue. I gave it to you because you haven't gotten anything fancy yet. It should give you some padding against pesky fire element attacks. While your damage isn't as good as Josh, Gage, or Brian, you still pack a decent punch and - more importantly - take punishment. There's a water elemental axe lying around somewhere in the game and I think it is in Heigm. That's far away, but we can still plan for it. At any rate, you survived a face to face encounter with a Boss, parrying an attack that should have chunked most of your health off. You've evaded unlikely attacks before with your Boss Blocks.

Sagar - Berserker - Fire
HP 261 MP 55 STR 166 VIT 155 INT 113 MEN 165 AGI 145 DEX 160 LUK 50
Equip: Gramrock, Power Gauntlet, Balder Chest
Kills: 12
Achievements: Cock Block, Last Stand

Be proud, for you wield the mighty Gramrock axe. It is fire elemental, but has slightly less attack power than the Balder axe. I think elemental bonuses stack, so you should be dealing more damage with it than the balder axe. It's also 4 points lighter, so you'll be doing better overall. There's a better Fire elemental axe in the game, but I can't get it on the Chaos route, it is only available in the Law route, because a certain berserker dies in this one. At Fiduc Gate you fought off some spawning Soldiers at very low health. It was nearly your Last Stand.  But you rocked it.

Peter - Earth - Terror Knight
HP 255 MP 30 STR 158 VIT 162 INT 121 MEN 145 AGI 153 DEX 161 LUK 49
Equip: Balder Axe, Warp Shoes, Granite Armor
Kills: 42
Achievements: Boss Blocks

You're wearing the Granite Armor now, it's Earth elemental and gives you extra wind resist. Giving warp shoes to you was a good choice, the teleport befits the creepiness of the Terror Knight. All in all, you do well. It was a little close at Fort Bodo with all of those guys smacking you, especially when Oz got you with his axe. You had a chance to block that, but did not. Where are those Boss Blocks now?

Velika - Witch - Earth
HP 214 MP 111 STR 130 VIT 126 INT 157 MEN 167 AGI 152 DEX 166 LUK 48
Equip: Gemini Crossbow, Mind Ring
Spells: Charm, Petrify, HealRain
Kills: 6
Achievements: Dragon Charmer, Stone Cold, Close Call

Gotta get that INT up. The inconsistency of HealRain is annoying and we've suffered for it. I'd have you dedicated to Petrify, but that isn't reliable either! What the fuck am I supposed to do now?! Joking aside, you did petrify the two most threatening units at Fiduc Gate - with Logan's help. An archer shot you down to 1 health, that was a Close Call.

Logan - Warlock - Fire
HP 219 MP 133 STR 123 VIT 129 INT 182 MEN 162 AGI 128 DEX 147 LUK 49
Equip: Balder Staff, Mind Ring
Spells: Paradigm, Stun, Charge
Kills: 4
Achievements: Here Comes The Stun

Charge and Stun, that's what we do all the time. I wish you were a little faster, because there were some times where a stun was needed and you had just charged yourself. The timing is good though because you usually get charge off on one of the other mages before they go. Next chapter you're getting a new spell, I think you'll like it. It's going to replace Heat, because that spell isn't all that useful: it only targets one unit, doesn't give that much of a damage boost, and wears off really fast. You saved our team from certain doom when Brian got charmed by the Dark Dragon, good job!

Jay - Octopus/Tiamat - Wind - Black Dragon
HP 266 MP 0 STR 232 VIT 152 INT 116 MEN 172 AGI 91 DEX 92 LUK 50
Kills: 39
Achievements: Charming, Quite Charming

One more kill until you meet the kill requirements to change to a Tiamat, but there's a couple more actual levels to go. Next chapter should be the day. Your heals (items) were needed in the last battle, you saved the day with your mighty Dragon carrying capacity. It'd be a good idea for me to find some DEX cards for you, because your accuracy is falling off as you missed a couple of breath attacks.

Rob - Golem - Wind
HP 159 MP 0 STR 219 VIT 158 INT 98 MEN 155 AGI 71 DEX 81 LUK 50
Kills: 2
Achievements: Wall of Heal

Every single battle I get scared you're going to die. It's always a close call, even when at full health...even when you're not there. Good thing you also carry tons of heals. It's an expensive strategy, but worth it.

Dylan - Terror Knight - Wind
HP 262 MP 38 STR 167 VIT 155 INT 124 MEN 157 AGI 150 DEX 161 LUK 50
Equip: Dragon Sword, Wing Armor
Kills: 37
Achievements: Stone of Shame, Survivor

I finished off that dumbass Swordmaster with a rock, so I get the Stone of Shame achievement. I also survived a Firebird spell...that's impressive. 

Fort Bodo
Look closely and notice a new enemy: Temple Knights. At this point forward, we will be fighting many of these guys. They're the biggest assholes in the game, they are a non-recruitable class that has fairly good attribute growth, can cast any spell, and is good with any weapon. As you probably noticed, they all also use a variety of spells. A tendency is for one or two of them to have healing rain, so they can be AOE healing idiots on top of their already OPness. In the PSP version they were even worse, very tough to kill and cast their spells with impunity, also there were ones who cast healing magic, making already difficult battles worse.

The map is also a Fort map, so there are high walls with many narrow step paths. However, the timing was great and we have 3 items in our possession which allow us to traverse terrain with ease. I gave them to 3 of our beaters, Dylan, Jon, and Peter. The rest of you had to hoof it. This battle was actually easier than I expected and there weren't any close calls. I also forgot that you can use items at any height, so Jorshe was able to heal Peter when he needed it, even at the bottom of the wall. Our fliers caused havoc up top and Velika began petrifying the TKs one by one.

Fiduc Gate
We took the front gate of the castle because we're retarded. This battle was a nightmare: a wizard and siren who could both cast summon spells, two archers with powerful elemental bows, dragons, dragon tamers, and a new mechanic: spawning soldiers. In this battle and some others, soldiers can spawn at random after a certain period of time. Fortunately they're not that greatly built or equipped. The only thing that wasn't a threat was the suicidal leader, but we wanedt that special equipment the other guys have so we needed to save him for last.

Starting out we couldn't move a certain amount of spaces ahead until the enemy mages moved far enough away, because they'd kill most single targets with those summons. The Archers were also problematic, so we had to keep the fight near the start. My goal was to disable the bottom floor enemies with stun and petrify and hope that the mages would move into a position that allowed me to strike first.

Logan and Velika did their best to stun and petrify whomever they could, but those spells missed frequently. Our beaters were helpless, because they couldn't move and could only get a couple of strikes in. Once the mages and archers were down I started scrambling. To my surprise, the wizard cast firebird on Dylan and he survived with very low HP. The siren couldn't move into range so it gave me an opportunity to stun/petrify them, but the spell kept missing on certain casters and archers. There were a lot of close calls and panic heals, but we managed to off the important enemies and put Leader Swordmaster in a tight spot. Dylan finished him off with a stone.

Inside Fiduc
A much different battle from the rest, we had to fight two boss characters: Oz and Ozma. Oz wields the Gramroc axe and has a move that allows him to stun an enemy. He also hits fucking HARD. Ozma wields that whip from Citizen Kane, Rosebud, and has an attack that charms. She also has Petrify, with her high DEX she can petrify most anyone. For some reason the rest of the enemy starts all in one place on some stairs, the one corridor up to Ozma. Oz starts right next to Denim and what do you know? He gets a turn before our Hero, slashing off most of Denim's health.

Fortunately we can kill him fast, with a charge from Logan and a summon from Jeff, he's left with low health. Ashley and Denim's bows and a rock throw punk him. That leaves Ozma. Those Valkyries with the bows are a problem, but the two Priests are a larger issue. Not only do they have a heavy healing spell, but they can cast lightbow, which does a respectable amount of damage at range.

Jeff manages to down one of the Valkyries with a Gnome and Logan attempts to stun, but fails. Slowly we worked our way up and picked off each enemy. The Witch was able to stun a bunch of us while the Siren blasted us with meteor. Eventually we were able to eliminate everyone but those two and Ozma. However, the Temple Commando was able to cast petrify on a bunch of us. I wasn't aware, but no one can cast through walls and that's what blocked that stairwell. We wasted a couple of turns getting into position while I hoped petrify didn't land on all of us. We made it: Ozma is a bit weaker than Oz and could not kill Denim before I dinged some of her health and finished her with another Gnome from Jeff.

The Story So Far

It's a wonder we've had this much success in our campaign...

Vice has slain the Duke, Lans has taken Kachua, and Denim is taking no prisoners. The Dark Knights seem to be having issues with Bacrum, as the two aren't getting along, so with the Duke out of the way Denim is free to strike at Fiduc Castle. Before that, he takes a slight detour to Fort Bodo and finds the Dark Knights twins, Oz and Ozma, escorting a prisoner and cleaning up the island of Front remnants. Denim hands Oz's ass to him and recruits Selye into his army.

Good thing we killed her for not following your orders

No, I certainly did not come here to do that!

At Fiduc Denim battles through the gates and finds Kachua in there. What is she doing there? Certainly not being actual Queen Bitchfucker. She has a word with him then tries to shoa him her stabs. What is with everyone and trying to kill Denim? Lans calls her back and escapes while Oz and Ozma stay to slay our leader, but they pay for it and go on their way to hell or whatever the afterlife is in this game.

Why are you surprised by this? He's your commander.

Somewhere, Vice is having a birthday party or something, where they put him on a fun rope swing. I think they call it "Execution." He begs and begs them not to kill him, telling everyone it was the Cardinal who gave him his orders, but they don't listen to his pathetic howling. As a last resort he calls out for Denim, but that guy isn't anywhere near there. Maybe you shouldn't have been such a conniving dick, you fuckhead.
Because Gods.

And I looked down and whispered "lol."

That concludes the end of the lengthy Chapter 3 - Losers Are Called Dogs and Hogs